The Working Mother Experience

Women and Self-Promotion

Many women are uncomfortable with the concept of self-promotion.  In fact, one of the most packed seminars I ever attended was called the “impostor syndrome”. If you are unfamiliar with the definition – here it is from Wikipedia:

The Impostor Syndrome, sometimes called Impostor Phenomenon or Fraud Syndrome, is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments. It is not an officially recognized psychological disorder but has been the subject of numerous books and articles by psychologists and educators.

Regardless of what level of success they may have achieved in their chosen field of work or study or what external proof they may have of their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced internally they do not deserve the success they have achieved and are actually frauds. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they were more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be.

This syndrome was thought to be particularly common among women who are successful in their given careers, but has since been shown to occur for an equal number of men. It is typically associated with academics and is widely found amongst graduate students.

Many working mothers suffer from self-doubt and it is a constant struggle to find balance.  Maybe because we fear that others have more time to dedicate to one area of their lives, for example, the office.  The truth is that people with a great deal on their plates tend to be more productive.  They don’t have to be working mothers, but they are people with discipline and priorities.  In other words, people who don’t have time to procrastinate.

Women in general need to be a little better at talking themselves up.  Consider this blog post from Clay Shirky (Warning:  foul language in the Shirky blog post) called Rant About Women I stumbled onto via Twitter.  I know nothing at all about the author of this well written article and can not vouch for its authenticity.  However, I found his seemingly first-hand account of the career achievement differences between men and women in his own corner of the world a worthwhile read.  It may open up readers to new possibilities, enjoy.

The New Village

The Working Mother Experience is a 250 page exploration into the culture of EMC’s working mothers.  It is one example of the many ways in which women are finding to connect with their created communities.

The saying that it takes a village to raise a child is still valid, if you are willing to have your village closer resemble a building in Second Life than a pueblo in your town center.  The internet and social media makes it possible for women everywhere to band together on topics that are important to them.

Circle of Moms on Facebook and Twitter are great examples.  You can connect with Moms around the world on virtually any topic from kids with reflux, resume help, or World of Warcraft tips and tricks.  Co-ops and babysitting clubs form online for free or you can try one of the fee sites like SitterCity or Care.com.

The world was never smaller for me when I was instant messaging with one of my closest friends from college while I was waiting for MRI results at the hospital with my two year old son.  My son was asleep in the room with me, while one of my best friends and I “conversed”.  BTW, he has lived in Japan for the past 15 years.

The workplace is part of the new village for working mothers.  We spend so much time in and connected to our offices.  Of course they will become resources for us to tap in times of need.  Women have gone before and will come after you in a work-based circle of life like any other.   There is a great network of support in good times and bad between the working mothers at EMC.    The camaraderie was summed up best by essayist Jeannene Austin.   “Some people have role models and some people ARE role models.  Knowing that someone has lived a similar life to yours in a similar culture (EMC) and survived infertility, breast cancer, miscarriage or death in the family helps you chart a path back to normalcy.”

Corporations that embrace community halls, real or virtual, are part of the tapestry of the new village will thrive.  They will be in a position to capitalize on the best working mother talent.

On December 10, 2009 EMC sent a number of women to the Massachusetts Conference for Women. The day’s lineup was just amazing.  Speakers ranging from Marcus Buckingham to Suze Orman gave motivating speeches of empowerment and self-reliance.  Marcus talked to women about finding what makes them happy and doing more of that.  Ok that may sound like (DUH!) obvious right now, but it was a terrific message for women of all ages to hear.  Figure out what makes you happy and do more of it.  Focus on your strengths and stop spending so much time trying to fix your weaknesses – work around them.  Suze Orman gave financial advice that had everyone at my table scribbling like we were back in college!  I thought I had a handle on things financially (and I do), but as with any discipline it takes practice and presence – you can always get better.

As amazing as the speakers were for the day and the copious notes everyone scribbled are valuable, the highlight of the day was the open Mentor/Match program.  Women lined up to speak to volunteer mentors about topics ranging from resume support, career advice, and executive presence.  A few women from EMC were chosen to mentor.  Being a “speed” mentor was a great honor and I got much more out of it than would have ever anticipated.  What does this have to do with the Working Mother Experience?  Everything!  Connecting women makes the sum greater than its parts.  Mentors shared their knowledge with Mentees, cross- company connections were made and it was clear NONE OF US DO THIS ALONE.

Success is knowing when to ask for help and having smart resources to tap!  Hooray for networking and the NEW Village.

Meet EMC Working Mother — Toby Zeldin Yaakov

Senior Technical Writer, RSA, The Security Division of EMC, Israel

Mother of two: two youths

Excerpt from Toby’s essay (p. 104): Does any woman actually dream of being a working mother? It’s a 24/7 smorgasbord of personal and work challenges all rolled into one. And for me, the icing on the cake is that I’m a working mother in the Middle East. I could never have imagined the swirled topping of ups, downs, and inside-outs of this working-mother’s life I lead: I’m a city girl from Toronto living in a far-away, out-of-the-way Yemen-Israeli community named Moshav Tnuvot, a former screenwriter now writing API documentation, employed by a U.S. corporation and working in the Israeli high-tech industry, and the English-speaking mother of two girls who speak Hebrew.

Why she wanted to contribute her story to the book: I think it’s important to participate in projects in which employees are involved in activities outside of their usual work routines. A project such as this is especially interesting in a large, global company like EMC because you are exposed to the perspectives of people from around the world. I have a particular interest in projects about working mothers—because I am one!

Simmons School of Management-Special Event

This past summer the Simmons School of Management in Boston Massachusetts held a special event discussing Women and Engagement at EMC. On the panel were Natalie Corridan-Gregg, Polly Pearson, and Marisol Arroyave. Three women who are passionate about EMC, their careers, and being working mothers. All three are essayists in the Working Mother Experience book which was one of the topics for discussion that night.

There have been several panel discussions since the book launch in April, 2009, but this one was distinctly unique. This blog post has been hard to write just because so many great conversations happened. It is rare to find an entire room of accomplished female leaders fully present from every generation. It was tempting to just create a blog post that says “You just HAD to be there.”

The event was audio taped and when editing is complete and with Simmons SOM permission it will be posted here for you to enjoy.

The facilitator was outstanding. Great questions, accurate paraphrasing, and simply got the room engaged quickly.

The audience was so inspiring. The quality of the questions, the enthusiastic discussions, the passion these women showed gave me hope for the future of the country. These women are here to shake things up!

The women in that audience clearly think beyond themselves.  They are ready willing and able to tackle the world’s issues while simultaneously setting themselves up for success.

There is definitely an affinity between EMC and the Simmons School of Management.  Their annual Simmons Leadership Conference is a tremendous source of inspiration.   In their own words :

“For 31 years the Simmons Leadership Conference has set the standard for women’s professional events, presenting an extraordinary blend of thought leadership, motivation, and above all, networking.”  The next one is Friday, April 30, 2010.  Mark your calendars.

Recently a Simmons School of Management alumni received an Executive Education Newsletter from the school and forwarded it to this blog.  The Working Mother Experience blog along with other resources online were among the recommended reading list.  What an honor!  You can check it out here.

The Choice Myth

Catching up on my reading (and blogging) I ran across an article that talks about a woman’s choice to work. The opinion blog by Judith Warner titled “Domestic Disturbances” dispels the ‘choice myth‘. Her ability to succinctly put into words that which most women have trouble articulating is commendable. Priorities are not only a moral dilemma, but a financial one. The ideal mix of working and family time is different for everyone, but providing the best for our families is no longer the pure burden of one spouse.

The Working Mother Experience book drew upon many people’s experiences from many locations, religions, and corporate levels. Most of the authors did not get to read any stories except for their own until after publication earlier this year. Yet, the themes of boundaries, sacrifice, and wanting a better life for our children are ubiquitous. All of the stories in this book are from EMC employees, but since the book was published we have been exposed to the reaction and comments of outside consumers and the same holds true.

We all strive to strike the right balance. We hope we are creating harmonious households while following our own personal cocktail of choices. The Mommy Wars (stay at home moms vs working moms) are fueled by inherently imperfect people, making imperfect choices, in an imperfect world desperate to validate their own decisions or beliefs as the right ones.

The article ends with the statement “When mothers can choose, they choose self-empowerment. Because they know that there is no true difference between their advancement and the advancement of their children. Why do we so enduringly deny them the dignity of choice?” …Amen

**updating to add link to Downtown Women’s Club. Apparently this post moved Diane K Danielson as much as it moved me. Her post on the subject is fantastic and worth a read.

EMC Hosts EMC Children’s Day in Hopkinton

Becky Martins,  an EMC Marketing Leadership Development Program Associate wrote a terrific write-up about the day and she has given permission for it to be reprinted here for you to enjoy.  Thanks, Becky!

EMC Children’s Day welcomed employees’ families with a smile. Described by attendees as being like a giant family reunion, the event brought nearly 350 guests into the EMC Hopkinton headquarters courtyard in mid-August, including EMC parents, spouses, 70 employee volunteers, and nearly 200 children.

“Our first Hopkinton Children’s Day brought a ‘fresh-air twist’ to the traditional ‘take your child to work’ day,” says Daisy Alba, Sr. Manager of Global Cash Management. “It was wonderful to see the kids having fun and enjoying themselves at their parents’ workplace. Since many of us spend a lot of hours at work, it was great to share our professional lives with the little ones.”

Daisy initiated and co-led planning for Children’s Day with Natalie Corridan-Gregg, Team Lead for Symmetrix Management Strategy, after witnessing similar successful programs at RSA and other EMC divisions. Daisy adds, “With this event, EMC really demonstrated the importance it places on its employees and a balanced work/family environment.”

“EMC Children’s Day was successful because a great number of busy EMCers got together and made something amazing happen in their spare time,” Natalie says. “EMC is such a great place to work because people always find time to do what’s right.”

Activities

EMC Children’s Day boasted a wealth of activities divided by age group, including outdoor games, arts and crafts, hands-on educational programs, face painting, bouncy houses, a live DJ, Clarity the Clown, and an ice cream social. EMC Celerra Man, Mr. Incredible, and the Boston Red Sox mascot Wally the Green Monster even made cameo appearances. Looking down into the courtyard, 176 South Street employees couldn’t miss the happy faces of EMC parents, children, and employees alike.

“When we choose to invest in those most important to us, everyone wins,” says VP of Employment Brand and Strategy Engagement Polly Pearson, who not only helped execute the event, but also enjoyed EMC Children’s Day with her own family. Walking to the car that afternoon, her own generally cool and collected 4-year-old son couldn’t help but admit, ‘Mom, THAT was fun!’”

Frank Hauck, EVP of the EMC Storage Division, Global Marketing and Customer Quality, joined the 2009 Marketing Leadership Development Program team to try to bring EMC’s business to life for the children. He was pleased with the outcome and level of employee dedication. He says, “Children’s Day was one of those ‘feel-good moments’ that make EMC a really special place to work.”

Who wants to add their 2cents?

Ever since the Working Mother Experience launched in April many of the women from EMC who did not choose to participate in the book want to somehow be a part of the ongoing discussion. I have interviewed a few women at EMC and will start posting their stories to keep the spirit of the Working Mother Experience alive, but for all of this site’s readers that would like to participate the stories need not be EMC stories. We have EMC customer and partners lining up, but if there is someone who would like to add their 2cents an EMC Badge is not required. Just shoot us an email (link to the right).

Looking forward to it!

Meet EMC Working Mother — Raquel Abizanda

Marketing Manager, Spain
I am very satisfied with my personal life and professional life. I believe I am one of the few executives of a large multinational corporation with four children and, moreover, that I am valued in my work and that I don’t have to make sacrifices in my professional life to be a mother also. The other day I read a very interesting article in a Spanish newspaper that said, “Companies don’t discriminate against women; they do it against mothers.” This is definitely not my case. On the other hand, I won’t paint a picture of Utopia. My level of stress, on occasion, is extremely high. In fact, between my personal life and professional life I have a twenty-four-hour-a-day job. I don’t deny that it’s a challenge.”

Why she wanted her story to become part of the book:

This was a great project!! I enjoyed sharing this experience with other colleagues around the world. It demonstrates that even with different countries, different cultures, different ages, and different roles there is one common objective – to show that despite the difficulties it’s possible to manage and enjoy both your business and personal worlds.

Our main Marketing campaign is about “Thriving in the hardest environments”. That’s exactly what we working mothers do…successfully!! It’s just about EMC efficiency.

EMC World 2009: The WLF hosts panel discussion on The Working Mother Experience book

By Kelly Lavin and Natalie Corridan-Gregg
May 22, 2009
On Wednesday morning, 48 employees, customers, and partners gathered for a networking breakfast and panel discussion hosted by the EMC Women’s Leadership Forum on issues raised by The Working Mother Experience book. The book, published by EMC, contains real stories written by 96 EMC women (and one man) from around the world that provide candid perspectives on being working mothers in a fast-paced business environment.

EMC SVP ML Krakauer thanked the crowd for gathering at such an early hour to attend the event. She acknowledged EVP Frank Hauck and the WLF for putting the event together and stressed the importance of projects like The Working Mother Experience to the vitality of companies. Attendees from many different companies, men and women alike, mixed effortlessly during the breakfast portion. They introduced themselves and immediately exchanged stories about their experiences as working parents. EMC’s Marisol Arroyave presented a brief background on how The Working Mother Experience book came to be, how the project was launched, and the importance of the book to EMC’s culture.

Several dads joined in the discussion about work-life balance.

Attendees viewed a video montage of the book launch event in Hopkinton on April 3, and then the panelists took the stage. EMC employees Wendy Bertino, EMC Commercial Pre-Sales; Jean Weintraub, NY/NJ Sr. Practice Manager; Kathie Lyons, VP, Global Services; and Cathy Herbert, Director Partner Systems Engineering Organization, participated as panelists. Principal Product Manager and WLF advisor Natalie Corridan-Gregg served as moderator.

Each of the women related personal stories and exchanged advice. Popular topics of discussion were work-life balance, the help and hindrance of technology on family life, and the importance of having a good support system, both at work and at home. Panelists and attendees spoke about shared feelings of self doubt, guilt, pride, and joy in their experiences as working parents.

One panelist’s EMC team (mostly men) came to support her participation as a panelist. They talked about how proud they were of her accomplishments and “effortless” juggling of career and family.

The conversation in the room might have started with the WME book, but it was quickly a discussion of the balance of parenting (not specific to women) and career. About halfway through the event, it was clear that there was little difference in gender when it came to the struggles of working parents. The men were so engaged that the moderator had a difficult time winding down the conversation so the attendees could move on to the next scheduled EMC World 2009 event.

Key thoughts from the panel discussion included:

“The hardest part about being a working mom is probably getting over the preconceived notion that all women stay home after having children. I’ve always been a working mom and have had a positive experience. There are four people in the room here now that came to support me, and to me that’s very important.”
—Jean Weintraub

“I have a great support system at EMC, as well as family close by that I can rely on. I feel very lucky to have such great support in my choice to be a working mother.”
—Kathie Lyons

“If it is important to you, you can make it work.”
—Cathy Herbert

“My family knows at the end of the quarter things may be tough for a little while. I will have to take phone calls during dinner and answer e-mails during soccer games. Technology is a double-edged sword that can be overwhelming, yet helps us balance our work and family lives.”
—Wendy Bertino

“The women at EMC won’t accept second best, but setting achievable goals and understanding you can do a good job is important.”
—Natalie Corridan-Gregg

Many had to miss the event due to other commitments and classes that were running concurrently. The support that was shown throughout the day and requests for more of these types of sessions was a message received loud and clear.

Kate from customer Johns Hopkins said it best. “By having this event at EMC World, EMC is acknowledging the role of women in technology. They are putting their money where their mouth is around valuing employees and greater diversity. EMC is a company that gets it, and I want to do more business with that kind of a company.”

Moderator Natalie Corridan-Gregg (far left) with panelists (l. to r.) Wendy Bertino, Jean Weintraub, Kathie Lyons, and Cathy Herbert.

Some of the Women’s Leadership Forum event participants and panelists with EVP Frank Hauck.

EMC World 2009

Back at my hotel after the first day of events at EMC World 2009. Lots of energy and excitement.

The day started off well.  My husband and son were ready for me to go.  The shuttle arrived on-time.  I was at the airport early, had lunch and there were no security lines to speak of.   Unfortunately, the day veered a little off track from there.  The plane arrived late at the gate.  We arrived late in Orlando and then the transportation out of the airport was a two hour disaster.   However, always being one to make lemonade in these situations I met a few new customers of EMC and enjoyed chatting with them.    After I brought a few of them through registration I turned around to see this poster:

(Sorry for the photo quality), but this put a little spring in my step. It reminded me that we were going to have a session at EMC World focused on the book. I am so excited for this session and can not wait to hear what customers and partners have to say about their experiences and what, if anything, this book has meant to them. The session is Wednesday 7:30-9:00am. I will write more from EMC World and will post thoughts from the session as soon as my schedule allows.