I have been working for the same corporation for many years. Actually, that is not a true statement. The company name is the same, but the corporation has changed more than stayed the same in my tenure here. Due to the size of the campus, I was lucky enough to start a brand new career this week in the same building as my previous career that ended last week.
Receiving a job offer letter just days before Christmas definitely has its affect on the holidays. Although I have received outstanding support from former management as well as new, transitions are complicated. Systems are put in place to make career transitions all go as smoothly as possible. Yet, it never really is SMOOTH… Great care needs to be taken to prevent tasks from falling through the cracks. You worry about what you know is important from your old job that is out of your control. Meanwhile, you don’t know what is important yet in your new job, so you pay attention to everything and set yourself up for overwhelm. Your finely tuned skill for prioritizing on the fly has all new inputs to decipher.
Then there is the details and administrivia. I started packing up my office stuff to schlep it to a new location, in the same building. Seeing less of the team I worked with daily for the past 4 years while making alliances with the new team. Figuring out who owns what is a treat. I spend time teaching people how to do my old job. Other people spend time teaching me how to do my new job. My supportive husband and son are dealing with Mommy’s fragmented attention span at home and I feel like Sybil in conversations saying things to the effect of “my job, I mean my old job”, “my boss, er my former boss” etc.
Even though so much has changed and things we have established routines are not smooth, there exists an aliveness associated with change. It is as if I can FEEL the new pathways in my brain forming. It is invigorating. It is exhausting. I have slept really well the last few nights because I have left nothing on the table. None of my other responsibilities (being a wife and mother) take a vacation because I started something new. Christmas and New Years obligations and celebrations happened on schedule whether I was ready or not.
Back in November, I had vowed to myself that I was going to make 2010 a focus on simplicity. I was going to trust myself more, I was going to simplify some of the processes of my life, I was going to systematically organize areas of my house that cause me grief, give away stuff I no longer use and reclaim open space. It wasn’t quite a Resolution, but more of an intended transformation. My approach to life is often one of scarcity. I hold-on to what I have. I like to consider it a form of loyalty. My Mother calls this “the devil you know”. Staying with the devil you know is a safe, but not necessarily fulfilling lifestyle.
With the current economic crisis some were concerned that it was a mistake in timing for me to change jobs. I love that I have people that care for me so much, but I knew it was time for a change. My brain needed new challenges.
Recently I tweeted saying that I was in a place of contentment. In that contentment, I am actually embracing all of the mistakes I have made in my life, because they got me to HERE. I like where I am and I could not have gotten to the positive “here” without having gone though the dark stuff. What a great lesson it would be for me if I could embrace the next time I screw up as simply the means by which a new pathway opens up for me. I doubt I will have that Zen-like clarity in the moment. Being a perfectionist, screwing up comes with a lot of drama. I like to think that I eventually see the silver lining, though.
Transitions are not smooth, but as I sit here writing this post I feel very much alive. Challenges are good for the soul.
